Nov 13

FrigId, chilly Canada.  I stood outside for 2 hrs 30 mins to get people to take my card. My target market.  I had to wait for them to come in earshot and then ask them if they had Facebook.  I may do it again tomorrow to increase my Facebook patronage. My intent is not to care how cold it is – I want and maybe even need to get this done.  I’m not going to keep myself inside like a coward against the cold.

Nov 11

So I sit on my $40 couch I got from some fat guy in my building who has a thing for me.  I’m not into fat guys and I myself need to go to the gym to lose weight as well.  I live in a suburban North American city that used to be majority White when it was built, but is now minority White.  I notice this when I go to the gym.  I’m an introvert, and also new to the gym, so I just go on the elliptical for 30 mins and leave.  I don’t understand why anyone would want to socialize at the gym.  I guess it’s just their thing.  For me, if I’m on the elliptical, I just want to zone out and finish my workout and leave.  I hate taking the bus home afterwards.  I don’t own a car.  I have $30k of credit card, line of credit and overdraft protection debt.  There is no way I’m going to be able to pay that off myself!

Oct 17

God I feel so fat

after gaining all that weight from being addicted to to whiskey, living in that fucking dirty apartment with those filthy refugees.  Fucking infested with bedbugs. Before I began taking that god foreaken prescription and the addiction – I used to clean the room.  But for some reason I became tormented by my hate for the other flatmates.

Shitty Wednesday

So I wanted to NOT drink before I got home today from work – but there was this BITCH behind me on the streetcar talking to her husband about some Idiot student she has.  FUCK!  Like – I respect her and everything for being in academia (she was a music teacher of some sort and she seemed to know a thing or two about universities)…I don’t know…I don’t know if it was her arrogance or my biting, knawing hurt that I planned to go to university after making money from being a massage therapist (but that was years ago).  I was introverted in college and didn’t make many friends, and when it came to doing the license exam for massage therapy – I failed two times because I didn’t have a practice group to prepare me for it.  And then so I went back to my college to get practice, and I made a friend who I was able to practice with…and then I passed!  But then when I began applying for jobs I got one job at a hotel spa that didn’t fit, one job at a physiotherapy clinic that couldn’t market itself, and then another job at a clinic which I left for a higher paying sales job.  Now it’s years later and I refuse to work a sales job because I’m an introvert and that last sales job was SO MUCH PRESSURE, that I want to get back into doing massage – because now I actually know how to market myself.  Before I knew nothing about marketing.  If I was in that same position I was in years ago, I would have made some sort of card with my picture and name on it and gotten Canada Post to distribute it to all the houses around the clinic so customers could call the clinic and book an appointment with me.