Dec 9

So today was my bday party at my parents’ house.  They are in their 70s and I’m maybe so proud that my Mom was still able to cook for me.  Why can’t I cook? Hmm. Well I guess it’s because I’ve lived in poverty for the past 5 years at least.

Saw my sister and her husband.  Pleased they came over.  Nice to see her baby and her young daughter.  I’ll call her daughter Ella.  Ella is a whirlwind.  She’s also kind of very egocentric.  I guess it’s her age.  She’s not even 4 yet.

There’s some show on TV right now about Montreal.  I guess I shouldn’t be shocked because I live in Canada, but it’s on TVO.  Montreal is in Quebec.  I guess this is some sort of show to do with TVO’s relationship with the federal government.

im not going to Montreal because I don’t know French.  I don’t see the point of going to a foreign place if you don’t know the language.  Like, maybe I can understand it if you go with someone or some other people who speak the same language as you – but what about Inidgo Traveller on YouTube?  He goes everywhere in the world and doesn’t know the language.  Isn’t that dangerous?  Meh…he looks rough enough to be able to handle it.  I wouldn’t.

just read today that South Africa will definitely be taking away the farms from White farmers there.  Some of the White people there want to create their own country, but I don’t believe that it would be able to successfully defend itself against the racist Black South Africans.

im so sick and tired of a Black people talking about racism.  I live in a Toronto, and since I was in Grade 2 (1992), I was taught by Authority to not be racist against Black people.  What happened?  I wa bullied in grade 4 by some fat Jamaican guy, and bullied in grade 8,9,10, and maybe 11 by another Jamaican guy.

from an early age I grew up with an aggressive, authoritarian mother.  I lived under fear of her disowning me and giving me up for foster care if I ever stood up for myself against a bully.  Because of that my social life suffered greatly, but now my mom is too old for me to be cruel to her because of this.

im kind of bitter and resentful of French speaking people in Toronto.

anyways, I’ll leave it at that for today!

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