Dec 28

So I’m having coffee in the evening so I can write my Blog. As you may know I’m supposed to write my blog daily – but I haven’t been because I’ve been too tired from my unpaid marketing work for myself. At the moment I am taping my business card to the wall of bus shelters around the city. Up until dec 24 I was handing out my biz cards to the right looking people (my target market), but when I tried to do it on the 24th and only one person accepted my card, it made me too mad at people to do it until now. I’m still feeling a bit unhappy about that day, however once my energy healing biz cards will run out (I have more ordered on the way), I’ll hand out my massage biz cards. I’ve been thinking about writing ‘foot only’ massage on them. I think that’s fitting because it has been years since I practiced massage and the feet for me are a great place to start. That reminds me of my ex fiancé who had a foot fetish. He liked to suck on my feet while fucking me. I miss him – he was so handsome and sexy. But that’s really the most of what he was.

As a gay man, I thought of getting married when I was in my most serious relationship. It was with an Iraqi guy. He was super sexy and he also had brains. If we had stayed together, I don’t know if we would have been able to get married. We practiced different religions from each other. It also left a bad taste in my mouth that he wasn’t out to his family about my relationship to him. It kind of makes me feel like shit to think that all I would have been to his family was ‘some guy’ or his ‘flatmate’. I regret having broken it off with him. Maybe I’ll have another serious relationship in the future, but I don’t really see that for myself. I need to lose weigot – my belly is too fat, and I need to have been on a healthy diet for at least a year. I don’t understand people who don’t have standards of appearance when it comes to sex. Like, I don’t get how a young heterosexual woman can be with a guy who obviously needs plastic surgery on his face. I don’t think heterosexual women have the same viewpoint of male beauty that homosexual men have. Oh well. Different genders, different tastes.

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