Jan 6

So I’m on track with my ‘work’ today. I put it in quotation marks because it is potentiality work. Work that will eventually make me money. My skin is irritatingly dry. I believe I’ve had 3 showers today, although I may have only had 2. My skin feels dry enough to have had 3. I can’t remember because my diet is so poor. At least I had blueberries on my cereal this morning and haven’t drunk any booze today – yet. I’m crossing my fingers that I don’t. My goal is to be completely sober. I don’t have a lot of money, and I need to watch my spending.

I watched a horror movie on Netflix last night. I don’t know why I’m so interested in horror movies. It’s not like I’m obsessed with them, however a few years ago I wasn’t into horror movies at all. I couldn’t watch them. They would freak me out too much. Now I watch them for the thrill. I’m kind of ‘desensitized’ from some stupid-ass pharmaceutical drug I took and thankfully stopped taking in the Spring of this year. Save me from those people who swear by psychotropic drugs.

My friend “Bob” called me today. He is kinda annoying. Like, my Mind is constantly in a state of wanting to make money, and I see him as some sort of hindrance. However, speaking to him helps to heal my 4A IP. He may be a bad influence on me if I have him over at my place – because I can’t trust him to not bring a bottle of liquor over. I think at one point he did promise me that he wouldn’t bring any over, however today he begged me to come over and said we “should drink beer” when he was over. So I said no.

I used to have this female friend named “Suzy”. I put her name in quotations because that is not her real name. I met her at a summer camp run by the Public School Board in my city. Scarborough. It was SOES. It was a pretty good camp, however one thing I disliked was we weren’t allowed to have showers. There was something wrong with the water – like not enough or something. I remember I was bad and sneaked away to have a shower by myself. LOL. I can’t beleive I did that! So bad of me. LOL LOL LOL. Anyway, Suzy and I became friends because we were both weird and no one really wanted to be our friends – so we befriended each other. I was weird because I had alopecia areata and probably only had one eyebrow at the time – my left eyebrow. I was also super feminine because I believed I should be that way because I identified as ‘gay’. This was in Middle School or early High School, I believe. Probably 1998/1999. I thought Suzy was cool because her mother was a prostitute. She lived in Manitoba. Suzy and I got along pretty well, and we remained friends after camp. We remained friends for years – but the friendship did come to an end. I don’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t related to how I resented her for not asking me to help look after her kids that she had later on in life.

Anyways, now I don’t have eyebrows at all. It’s a bad feeling to walk around with just your left eyebrow. Especially when you are a preteen or teenager. Now I draw my eyebrows on every day – because I prefer the look of having eyebrows than not.

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