Jan 13 ‘19

So I didn’t write an entry yesterday because I got drunk. Nothing to boast about. I followed my Inner Intent and took the fucking goddamn streetcar from Long Branch along Queen all the way to Pape or Carlaw or something. By the time I reached Pape, I was either fuming inside or was very bored – I can’t remember. In any case, my emotion(s) were so intense that I had to exit the streetcar (because my original Intent was to go all the way to the Beach) and go to this attractive-looking pub across the street called ‘The Thirsty’ -somethingorother. The pint of beer I had was AMAZING. It was a dark beer. I don’t remember the name – but I may go back there and check. I spoke with this red-haired lady Bartender. She was kinda snarly – but I kept up conversation with her. I don’t see the point of being a Bartender and ignoring your customers. I mean – the Bartender IS THERE TO TALK TO. So we had a conversation about Russia – which was where her parents were from. Like me, her parents emigrated to Toronto and she lived here all her life. I feel bad about having relapsed and had a drink – but I DIDN’T KNOW THAT I WAS GOING TO RELAPSE. I didn’t know that the trip from Long Branch to that place in the Beach would have taken THAT LONG. Next time, I’m taking the subway. It gets worse. When I arrived at my neighbourhood – I went to the bar near my house and HAD TWO PINTS. I’m not supposed to drink ANY ALCOHOL. My money situation is very bad right now and I shouldn’t be spending it on booze.

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