Yeah…So I sit here listening to Exposure from Current Value. CV is amazing, you should go check him out!!!

Eating peanut butter on toast. I learned today that people of my weight (130lbs) should eat about 40-50 grams of protein a day.

Went to the gym today. I’m not going to say ‘as usual’ because I don’t really want to go to the gym. It is always a struggle to go – but now a days it’s a small struggle compared to before when it was a big struggle!

I don’t understand how small young men can be. They are so scrawny. I guess they go to the gym because it’s something social to do – for them. I go because I’m serious about losing weight.

I don’t want any issues from socializing. As an Energy Healer, I am almost always aware of how faulty peoples’ Energy Anatomy is – so I tend to purposely avoid people in social situations. Not in any obvious way, however for the most part I just want to be by myself and I don’t get lonely.

There was this beefcake on the elliptical beside me today who was all business about his workout. He was DRENCHED in sweat – like the whole back of his T-shirt was soaked. I was worried he might have a heart attack – but I respected him and his choice and just focused on my workout.

The gym places this awful show on the TV almost every time I go there. It’s of these couples who either renovate their house or are looking for a new one. This is kind of like a slap in the face for me. I envisioned that I would be making enough money by 26 years old to buy my Dad a new driveway. Then I realized I had to do a whole bunch of marketing I had no clue how to do. Then I just gave up. Now – years later I’m doing the marketing.



So it’s NYE and I’m staying inside my apartment, alone (I am an Introvert – so therefore I don’t really care if I’m alone, even on NYE!

(March 9th ’19 Update: Also at this time I was very worried about my money situation, so that was another reason I wasn’t celebrating).

I think if I shared my apartment with someone else, I’d probably start drinking whisky at home again, and then get addicted.

Went to the gym tonight. I don’t think I went yesterday. My diet is so devoid of brain enhancing things. At least I’ve bought some canned peas and corn.

When I lived near Malvern Woods, I would have a bowl of canned vegetables with creamy salad dressing every day. I am so proud of myself, thinking back to that time. Vegetables are quite healthy, and so to have a bowl of vegetables every day is a pretty good feat.



Frigid, chilly Canada.  

I stood outside for 2 hrs 30 mins to get people to take my card. My target market……………..

I had to wait for them to come in earshot and then ask them if they had Facebook………………  

I may do it again tomorrow to increase my Facebook patronage………………..

My intent is not to care how cold it is – I want and maybe even need to get this done……………..

I’m not going to keep myself inside like a coward against the cold.



***God I feel so fat…***

…after gaining all that weight from being addicted to to whiskey

….living in that fucking dirty apartment with those filthy refugees.  

…Fucking infested with bedbugs. Before I began taking that god foreaken prescription and the addiction – I used to clean the room.  

….But for some reason I became tormented by my hate for the other flatmates.