ACTUALLY MAKING A MEAL

So I just made myself my first meal in several years. I call it so because it’s like: rice, potatoes, carrots and onion. The potatoes were sautéed with rosemary and chopped garlic – same for the carrots and onion (well, kind of steamed afterwards). The rice is jasmine rice (i was supposed to buy basmati – but OH WELL) infused with herby cream cheese. I also added (I think) ranch dressing to it. It’s PRETTY GOOD.

I guess I haven’t had an *actual* meal in so long because of my work schedule – and before that my addiction to whiskey, and before that: respiridone.

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CARROTS

Sitting here eating my crappy dinner I just made. The carrots are too crunchy – but I haven’t cooked anything like this for 3 years – such is a life of poverty. I used to be content at just cracking open a can of peas, adding creamy salad dressing to it – and eating it. Now, possibly ironically, the food from the Food Bank has gotten me cooking. They gave me carrots and onions and potatoes, so I looked up how to sauté potatoes and got an adequate video by Gordon Ramsay. When I was living at Jane Street, I wouldn’t have been able to cook. The people with whom I lived disgusted me too much that I couldn’t even cook in the kitchen! (And I don’t want any of you FUCKERS to come to me and say that I shouldn’t be disgusted by certain people. FUCK YOU and your stupid view of LOVING everyone UNCONDITIONALLY. What a load of crap that is!!! And don’t even change the subject to some shitty personal attack and say I’m being too emotional).

I also wanted to add the carrots and the onions to the potatoes. Initially I wanted to sauté all of them together, but my pan wasn’t big enough (there were a lot of potatoes). It called for olive oil, but all I had was vegetable oil. I skipped the tablespoon or so of butter with the potatoes, but I bought the rosemary. I forgot to chop the rosemary, but overall the potatoes are tasty. I simply cut up the onion, cut up the carrots somewhat (after cleaning them), and then sautéed them together in the same pan the potatoes were in. I added salt and pepper to both the potatoes and the other veggies. It seems like the dish is missing something. Originally I had thought of putting the stuff on toast with herby cream cheese – but I forgot about that and the carrots are too big and crunchy anyways to enjoy with toast. The hardness of the carrots would DESTROY the toast!

I’ve had too many carrots today anyways. I buy baby carrots from the grocery store and then partition them into sandwich bags. There is usually too many carrots per bag. What happened today was I ate a whole bag of carrots and then of course had stomach pain. Whatever. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have more self control. I thought of putting less carrots in a bag and replacing the half of carrots with celery – since I eat celery and carrots daily. Carrots are good for eye health and celery – well, celery is a vegetable so it’s obviously good for you. More specifically it has fibre. Dieticians are CRAZY about fibre.

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KEEPIN’ IT CLEAN

So, so far today I haven’t drunken any booze…I guess that is some sort of feat – even though I didn’t want to drink any in the first place today….

Just doing my laundry – a necessity.

Hopefully washing my sheets will get rid of any bedbugs in there. Shamefully I do have bedbugs in my apartment. It’s not like an infestation, however when you have even ONE bedbug, you freak out. Those things can multiply like crazy.

It’s an old apartment – and like most old apartments in my city, there are bedbugs and cockroaches. I’m looking for any home remedies anyone has to kill them.

I had requested the management of my building to call exterminators for them, however the extermination will require me to be out of my apartment between 9am and 4pm. I don’t know what the hell I will do for that long outside. most likely it would trigger me to drink, so I’ve cancelled the exterminations. It is more important for me not to drink right now, given my money situation.

I’m 35 now and I’m through with working for someone else, doing a shit job. A shit job is a minimum wage job. That’s basically it.

I’m grateful anyways that I am no longer addicted to whisky.

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NEW YEAR’S EVE FOR AN INTROVERT

So it’s NYE and I’m staying inside my apartment, alone (I am an Introvert – so therefore I don’t really care if I’m alone, even on NYE!

(March 9th ’19 Update: Also at this time I was very worried about my money situation, so that was another reason I wasn’t celebrating).

I think if I shared my apartment with someone else, I’d probably start drinking whisky at home again, and then get addicted.

Went to the gym tonight. I don’t think I went yesterday. My diet is so devoid of brain enhancing things. At least I’ve bought some canned peas and corn.

When I lived near Malvern Woods, I would have a bowl of canned vegetables with creamy salad dressing every day. I am so proud of myself, thinking back to that time. Vegetables are quite healthy, and so to have a bowl of vegetables every day is a pretty good feat.

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LOST FOUR YEARS’ WORTH OF INFORMATION

So I am using the keyboard my sister and parents bought me for Xmas. It feels nice to type ‘normal’ again.

***March 9th ’19 Update: that keyboard copped out a couple weeks ago so I had to buy a new one. I bought a cheap one at a computer store in downtown.***

I feel kind of fat because i just had a bowl of cereal. I’m meticulous about getting my vitamins, so i chose the cereal called Just Right, which seems to have the most vitamins and minerals of all the cereals at the supermarket.

OMG…I really have missed typing on a keyboard!

Being so poor, I should use the library computers sometimes, however I feel such shame and embarrassment for using them. I didn’t used to. For 4 years I would go to the Toronto Reference Library several days a week and work on my analysis of Energy Healing. Involved in that was a lot of typing in Word. Sadly I lost all that work I did because the USB that had all the info on it was in a backpack I threw out.

I am much against taking psychotropic drugs. I grew up trusting and esteeming the field of psychiatry – but then I learned the side effects of drugs can be worse than the symptoms they are treating.

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